The unrealistic pressures imposed by gay and mainstream media and why it shits me.

I remember sitting through numerous VHS recorded 60 Minutes stories at Primary and Secondary School in the 1990s about the impact that mass media – mainly Women’s Magazine’s -was having on the body images of teenage girls. As tacky and tabloid as these stories about young women with eating disorders were, it did help me at a young age, resent how much power the media, in all its airbrushed and over sexualised wisdom, had over women.

The toxic impact of mass media on women is perhaps even more of an issue than it was when I was a teenager and the conversation needs to continue, but I think we have failed to recognise that being told you are essentially an overeating worthless ugly lump of shit by the media no longer just applies to heterosexual women. The rise (or should I say ‘creation’) of the metrosexual in the early 2000’s and the popularisation of the really superficial and awful bits of gay culture (i.e. Queer Eye For the Straight Guy) paved the way for men, women, gay and straight to cue up together and throw up their lunch in unity in pursuit of the body that Women’s Day/ Men’s Health/ DNA Magazine dictated was now the standard for us all.

As a gay man, I have a pretty high level of disrespect for much of the gay press and media, which claims to give gay people a voice.  When I first left my regional home town and moved to the city, I was interested in reading some of the Australian gay newspapers as I thought – especially as a sheltered teenage gay male– these outlets may help gay people like me, make sense of our sexuality and feel comfortable in our own skin. Quite the opposite.  Yes, stories of civil rights movements, political changes and adds for GBLTI counselling were printed, but all somehow seemed to be drowning amidst pages full of imagery of unachievably buff porn actors, airbrushed within an inch of their own lives and milky skinned waif like 19 year old boys dancing in tight shorts in night clubs.  The 60 Minutes stories played in my head again when I first read the gay press and instead of feeling reasonably comfortable with gayness and myself in general, I became quite the cynic. Perfectly healthy for an 18 year old to be so bitter!

As much as I was and still am a huge advocate for calling ‘bullshit’ on the unrealistic expectations the media and pop culture throw our way, whether you are gay straight male or female, I do worry about how impacted myself and others can become by it all.  Gay media and gay culture in general over the years has been about as good for my self-esteem as the Boxing Day Tsunami was for Thailand.  It saddens me though to know that many of my peers have been completely pulled into the rip of every aspect of superficial gay culture, with the drugs, the clubs, lack of meaningful relationships, fitting a gay stereotype along with waving goodbye to any self esteem and personality that may have been left. To me, it predominantly comes down to the mainstream and so-called independent media construction of ‘what it means to be gay.’

After years of inequality one would think the gay community would be well versed at inclusiveness and ‘looking out for their own.’ Instead, from my point of view, aside from my handful of wonderful gay and lesbian friends I generally have only ever felt judged and inferior within the majority of the gay world.

The gay press need to take at least some responsibility for the damage they are causing to many gay people, under the false pretence of helping the gay community socially and politically progress. To me, it is not that difficult. Lay off the 237 page spreads of worship for unrealistically chiselled gay porn stars and begin to focus on what matters again, like in days gone by, when gay and lesbian people were fighting for basic human rights, not internally competing with ourselves as it now would appear.  Helping to foster a positive sense of self for young gay people, encouraging to them feel the passion about moving toward human rights such as same sex marriage, is to me, what the gay press should see as their role.  As it is now, it would appear the main aim is to cause inferiority complexes on a weekly basis. Will I ever look like Zac Efron or Hugh Jackman!?

Perhaps my one pack stomach and slight case of psoriasis might make a great shirtless cover shoot for the next edition of the local gay rags here in Melbourne? I doubt it.

Over.